dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
