hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
