I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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