i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
