dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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