Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
