I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm passing your future prison.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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