Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
