Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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