i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
People with herpes should wear stickers.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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