Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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