there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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