so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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