we're blogging at a bar
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
