last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
