Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
