i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
