Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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