Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
we're so committed to being not committed
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
