Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
