we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
