Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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