no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
