so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We just shotgunned beers for America
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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