My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
