You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
