Me. At least after what I've been through.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
