If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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