ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
