I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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