Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
