its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
