Screwed.edu
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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