don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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