your room smells of hookers.
And success
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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