OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
