i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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