girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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