Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
