Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
