you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
