i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
