Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
