So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
