i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
