What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
