it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
