It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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