I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
