She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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