Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
