You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
