Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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